I think we all wait for some magic moment where it all comes into view and the light bulb turns on and we are changed. But like oh so many of the things we pursue in life, it doesn't happen in one moments time. The change is slow and gradual, and just like the progress I am making with my body, it is worth it to hang in tight and keep going! I am amazed at how many things I am learning about myself as I try to embrace the challenge before me. It's like the questions are always the same but different somehow. I am starting to realize that I'm not dumb or slow to not have it all figured out yet. It's just that I am adapting to the changes in my mind and my body and the dynamics in my family, and learning to have confidence in myself. That's not something I believe anyone can have all figured out in one night.
So here I am on the soap box....
Don't give up on your dream! Feed it the best you can and believe in it. It will happen. I wish so much that everyone struggling with weight could have the opportunity I am having! To have the help of such wonderful people has been such a blessing. I really feel like I have made out like a bandit! Not only because of the help these people are offering to me so willingly, but also the fact that I am making friendships and growing in ways that I would never have known otherwise. Even more than that has been the growth I have found in the internal struggle I've been battling as I have had to go face to face with my weaknesses.
It has at times, been excruciating. I know it probably sounds like an extreme exaggeration, but it's true. When things have been really hard, I have been reminded of several different quotes that I have at one time or another heard and loved. I will share a couple with you. One is by David O MaKay “The greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of the soul.” That one has always touched me. It is so true that some things we have to just wade through silently and figure out as we go. Then there are also a couple of quotes by C.S Lewis I have loved for yrs but had forgotten until my heart reminded me just recently. “Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. ... We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it." and, "A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in." Even though this was a statement religious in nature in the day, I think it rings true for any challenge that one faces. I remember learning a long time ago that if you want to stay strong you must do hard things, not what comes easy. It is true in nearly every sense of the word. One of my friends shared with me recently too, that any success we can measure is the result of consistent and diligent effort by way of achieving that goal. I'm starting to figure out that things aren't easy because they aren't meant to be. And although we all have differences that make our challenges unique to ourselves, we are all still having to fight something, and it's not easy, for good reason.
Well, just in case you are wondering, I have now lost a total of 21 lbs, and am finally starting to believe that the clothing I am fitting into presently is not mis-marked! lol No, I'm not telling you a story... I really thought that the couple pairs of pants I was wearing must have been marked incorrectly in order to fit me. It wasn't until I had tried on a few different items from a few different stores and they all fit me, that I believed it. I'm telling you! It takes a while to teach an old dog new tricks! :)
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